Dating after divorce can seem like a new adventure while being scary at the same time, especially if you have been married for a long time. If you are ready to explore the dating scene but are not sure how to approach it better this time, read on.
Knowing what to do is as important as knowing what not to do when re-entering the dating game. Here are five common mistakes to avoid to ensure you steer clear of dating disasters.
Rushing into things
The key to making dating work is to ensure you are ready to commit to the new person. This entails taking the time to understand your own emotional and physical needs and the other person’s likes, needs, and behaviours.
However, jumping in too soon into another relationship before you are ready can be an invitation for disaster. Many people, after a divorce, jump into rebound relationships either to “punish” the ex or make the ex jealous or purely to fulfill their physical needs.
This can raise the risk of dating the “wrong person”, which can lead to a break-up eventually. Following a divorce, you are likely to be emotionally vulnerable, and another break-up can add to the stress levels.
Another common dating mistake is to expect the new person to provide everything that you think was lacking in your marriage, including perfect love, sex, attention, or financial support. Expecting too much from the new date can put pressure on them and kill the relationship.
Becoming clingy too soon
Some people become too attached to the new person too soon early on in the relationship. Being too clingy and smothering can also backfire, making the other person withdraw eventually. It is important to give the new partner the space they need in the relationship to build a healthy foundation.
Being scared to connect
On the opposite spectrum of becoming too attached is being too scared to connect. Whether you were shocked to learn about your spouse’s intention to divorce you, or you filed for the divorce yourself, the process is not easy to go through. This is particularly true if the person you loved betrayed you. While this can be difficult to handle, avoid letting this experience prevent you from connecting to someone new. Dating can be a wonderful experience and with the right person, it can lead to a fulfilling relationship. The key is not to close yourself to the possibilities.
Not being yourself
One of the most common dating mistakes after divorce is trying to become someone else to align with someone else’s needs. It is natural for you to want to make a good impression on your date by looking good, feeling confident, and being charming. However, you do not have to try too hard to impress, nor should you put on an act that comes across as desperation. Being authentic is the best way to ensure you find someone who understands and respects the real you.
Read More: 10 Common Divorce Mistakes